Christmas, penned and posted with love

snail mail

4 Dec

December! This year our advent calendar is actually a book. You open the widows on the front cover, and a little picture corresponds to the relevant ‘day’ inside, where we find instructions for a new Christmassy activity each day. So far, we’ve written letters to Santa, made raspberry hot chocolate, sung Deck the Halls, and folded paper snowflakes. (I suspect the children would still have preferred one of those calendars with tiny chocolates inside each window, but the book-calendar has me feeling altogether festive).

On Saturday we wandered into the city together as a family, and Christmas still seemed suitably far enough away that shopping felt fun, rather than stressful. (We were shopping for Ralph’s sixth birthday, which is coming up later this week, and I’ll spare you the “Where did the time go?” rant except to raise my hands towards you plaintively and plead, just once, “Where did that time go?”).

As Christmas approaches, my thinking has turned (probably not surprisingly) to letter-writing. Last week I was working on a story about snail-mail for a magazine. The editor had asked me to write about why I choose to write and decorate letters, and how I use this practise as a way to keep in touch with loved ones while also carving out time to practise mindfulness and indulge in creativity.

I wanted to share some personal anecdotes in the article, so I reached out to the community on Instagram and asked people to share stories about letters that had meant something special to them. The stories came flooding in, overflowing with emotion, and gratitude, and joy. I read through tale after tale of the ways in which simple words, penned and posted with love, became treasured and cherished keepsakes.

Truly, these stories warmed my heart. And I wondered, not for the first time, why we spend so much time combing the shops for gifts that are all-too-often at best unneeded and at worst also unwanted, when we could better spend that time writing a thoughtful, heartfelt letter. A letter that - unlike soap-on-a-rope or novelty socks - will most likely be kept for a lifetime. And sometimes longer.

In my letter-writing e-course, I share a photograph of a postcard in my possession that was written by my great-uncle Bert to his sister, my great-grandmother, from a training camp in Egypt during the First World War. You can see the ink thinning, and then the point at which he must have dipped his pen back into the ink-bottle to continue, and it gets darker again. The signature, "Brother Bert" and a kiss, is squeezed onto the bottom, and there are ink blotches where rain might have fallen on the card.

Blue lines cover some of his words: redactions from censors, presumably to stop Uncle Bert from accidentally revealing secrets. I never knew my great-uncle, but his postcard keeps him alive. I feel connected to him through his handwriting on this postcard, an up-and-down cursive that is eerily similar to my mother's.

I like to think of all the handwritten postcards like this one, and the letters, Christmas cards, invitations and love-notes, penned by hand throughout the ages.

What if we were to replace some of our gifts with heartfelt thoughts? Telling our loved ones that we truly do love them.. telling them why we love them… and sharing little stories about them that hold special meaning to us. We could decorate our envelopes before we post them, drawing pictures or colouring patterns to give them some extra festive flair. Or we could press leaves and flowers in between the folds as tiny treasures, tie each letter up in a giant, oversized ribbon, and set them under the tree to be handed to our loved-ones in person on Christmas morning.

I didn’t end up using the stories that everyone had shared, for my magazine article. But they are just too good to slip into obscurity and so I thought I’d publish them here, instead. I wonder if, after reading them, you will be feeling as inspired as I am to pick up a pen!

“The year before my grandmother turned 90, I started writing her a weekly letter as a secret birthday present to her. My then 7-year-old daughter would decorate the envelope with drawings from her imagination of my grandmother traveling to a new exotic place or having a unique new job. My grandmother was absolutely delighted seeing herself as a coal miner, a rollercoaster designer, or exploring the pyramids in Egypt. About halfway through the year my grandmother caught on and started to send us a weekly letter in return. She will turn 94 this March and something that I originally intended as a gift for her has truly become a gift for all of us.” @gracefulheart

“I have all the letters my dad has written me. He wrote one about the day I was born, telling the events of that day and how I came into the world. He wrote me letters of encouragement as I struggled through university. He wrote funny ‘news articles’ about events happening back home when I was working a summer job at a camp. We haven’t always had the easiest of relationships, but his letters are one of my most cherished possessions since they offer a glimpse of how much he really loves me.” @lauradipoeti

”Last year I was given a super precious gift of a couple of years’ worth of letters I had written to a friend...so many memories I had forgotten.” @allyt_hobart 

”I'd have to attrubute my love of mail to my nanna. We lived in a different state to her growing up and she was very deaf. I remember my parents encouraging me to write her letters. As a kid they were not very interesting...results of netball games. A summary of birthday presents. Years later when I was going through her things after she passed away I found every letter her grandchildren ever wrote to her. Some read so many times the paper was worn. To her a letter was the voice of her grandkids she couldn't hear. For get eulogy i wrote her a letter as a way of saying goodbye her way.” @onething_atatime 

“My husband used to write me love letters when he was working away in the middle of the desert and in them would be desert flowers. I will keep them forever.” @rachgilmore79 

“I have a tin full of the letters my father sent to his family during the WWII. It includes his 21st birthday cards that were sent to him in the Middle East when he was serving, as well as the black edged telegram his mother received to tell her that he was MIA presumed a German POW. It also includes his invitation to his own wedding, because in those days it was ‘the done thing’. I also have a collection of letters between my father and myself. We were living in PNG at the time and I was sent home to live with family to do Grade 6 here in Australia before I headed to high school.” @illawarra_cottage_and_garden 

”My mother-in-law and I wrote letters back and forth. When she died unexpectedly I was able to give my husband the letters she had written.” @tallmadgepamela 

”A friend of mine kept getting visits from a beautiful neighbourhood cat that really brightened her day and entertained her kids so she wrote a little note to tell the owners how much they were loving the cats visits and attached it to the collar of the cat for the owner to find.” @secretlifeofemmy 

“Looking through some old papers at my mom’s house a couple of years ago, I found an old letter to me from my grandfather. He had written it just before my wedding and it was full of well wishes for a happy life. My mother had saved it and I had tears in my eyes reading it. He passed in 2001 and the letter was written in 1995.”   @maria_at_the_lake 

 “I traveled to Australia before my senior year of Highschool and my father & I wrote letters while I was away. He passed away suddenly in October of my Senior year. I went back to Australia after graduation and there, waiting for me at my old Aus post address, was one last letter from my dear ol dad.” @tisha.cullen76

“I have a friend. We met at the summer camp by the sea in the Poland 35 years ago. For me it was first time by the sea (I am from Czech republic) Three amazing weeks full of new adventures and new friends! That time the letters were only way how to stay in touch. And we keep writing. It is beautiful friendship.” @  jolana_sekyrka 

”At a house clearance in the 80's my Auntie bought an unopened trunk. Inside was a love story between a woman and her lover during World War 1. From the beginning of their courtship all the way through to the telegram she received telling her he had been killed on the frontline. There were photos and ration books and notes of wedding plans. It was an entire love story.” @samburgessuk 

“I corresponded with an older lady I met on a cruise when I was 25, she was single and lived in Canada. We write regularly until she passed away, when our children were young and a letter arrived from Rita we would sit in our good room and read it. I loved that she was a part of their childhood. She lived a very interesting life and I have one of her paintings in my daughter’s old bedroom.” @chrissystant 

“I went to college out of state so during the school year I received letter from my friends at home and during the summers I received letters from all of my college friends. We all sent them on papers from our workplaces, mainly to be funny, but now they are so telling: greasy menu papers from a fish camp, daily schedules from a childrens camp and order forms from a shop. Those letters are so silly and carefree, I would love to go back to those days.” @lrc100 

“A few years back while clearing out my grandparents' house we found a letter from my grandma to my grandad written just after she'd had my dad, describing dad as a rather fat baby. I've always had penpals but writing to my grandma was extra special - I'll always remember how she wrote 'to-day' and 'to-morrow' in the old fashioned way.” @tomatopincushion 

“Being a former military member,and wife, letters were our only life line as we moved all the time. I've managed to keep a few letters from those years. We wrote pages at times. Everything stopped when we got letters from loved ones and friends.” @pilgrimslady 

“I once accidentally left a 50 page etter in the seat pocket of a Singapore Airlines airplane. The letter was to a friend in Italy, and I'd spent the whole plane journey writing it only to leave it behind in my weariness. A very kind cabin crew member must have found it and also found the address scrawled somewhere, because a few months later it turned up in Italy, much to mine and my friend's delight!” @postwhisperer 

“My cousin's Grandma used to send the most incredible letters to us out here in the Middle East. Although well into her 90s and her body incapacitated, her mind was vital and lively. She was deaf but watched TV with subtitles and girls from the local school would come and visit her. She would tell me about her travels when younger and TV programmes that she enjoyed - usually about other parts of the world. She died peacefully a couple of years ago and I miss those letters.” @mycustardpie 

“I found a suitcase full of letters my mum and dad wrote to each other when they were younger. It sounds silly but it's only then you realise what it was like to not have mobile phones and computers, and be in constant contact with one another. It was so lovely reading all the love and emotion on the pages in their handwriting, words that took so much more time and thought to express than the instant communication of today.” @seth.style 

“My wife and I lived 5000 miles apart for the first four years of our relationship, and I sent her a different post card every single Saturday. Spent hours searching shops and ebay listings for cards I thought she’d like. She kept them all in a shoebox and brought them with her when she finally moved to the UK.” @frog.johnson

“I fell in love with my husband at first sight when I was his student. Because he was 20 years older than me, my mother just wasn’t having it. He went on sabbatical to England, and we wrote during the latter part of 1975 and all of 1976. In 1995 I finally married him. Sadly, he passed away a couple of years ago. But I still have those letters that he wrote me back in the 70s.” @therealpattietierney

“I’ve been writing to my pen friend for 48 years. All handwritten letters. She’s not family but the closest thing to it.” @glenys_learningtoweave

“When I was a kid, I found an old box of correspondence between my great-grand uncle and his family (with also mentions of my grandfather who was a young child at the time) around WW1... the letters are all written in lovely handwriting and they’ve written literally everywhere they’ve found space because they didn’t want to stop writing... lots of love letters, simple letters to know how people were doing... it’s really cool to read to have an insight of what their lives were like.” @iamcapucinne

“Before my husband and I got married we wrote letters. In total I received 72 letters. Many very long letters, like 18 pages, written on both sides. We are married 27 years now. And I’m still wondering where he got all the inspiration and courage to write so much....he’s an introvert and dyslectic.” @magicworld_illustrations

Both my parents came from very large families (18 siblings total) so I have no shortage of aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. But my family were the only ones to move far away. Letters were the way we kept in touch. I would not have the close relationship I have with my cousins now if not for the many, many letters we exchanged when we were young. And yes they are in shoeboxes still. @mariannenoepoli

“My mum died a few years ago, and occasionally finding a letter or card from her, tucked inside something, is as if she's still around.” @little_white_cloud

So now what do you think about writing a letter for Christmas? Is there someone in your life who would treasure your words, even more than a scented candle? What will you tell them?