Conversations with my children, aged three and four...
Scout [touching my acceptance ring]: Are you wearing that so I can marry a girl? Me: Sort of, yes. I'm wearing it until Australia changes the law, because I think you and Ralph and anybody else should be able to marry whoever you love, no matter whether they are a boy or a girl. Do you think that's right? Scout: Yes! [shrugs her shoulders] Maybe I will love a girl, maybe I will love a boy. You never know. Me again [inside my head]: I am winning at parenting Ralph: Then I will marry Scout!
Ralph begs me to tie a ribbon around his head like a flapper headband. Me [tying it on]: Why do you want to wear this? Ralph: It makes me more super-y. Now I can save the day!
Scout [to Ralph]: I don't want you on my bed, you poo poo bum bum. You're spoilt Ralph: Well you're spoilter!
Scout: What is bigger, Jupiter or the sun? Me: The sun [finding a picture to show her]. See how Earth looks teeny and Jupiter looks enormous? The sun is even bigger than that Scout: Woah! Ralph: But Jupiter isn't jealous, because it has lots of moons Me: Yes! Where did you learn that? Ralph: From Jet Revolting (I don't even know what this is supposed to be, other than a TV show. But it is clear that not only am I allowing my children to watch TV unsupervised, but also that I am allowing TV to educate said children. #parentoftheyear)
Ralph: I am an expert at doing things just a little bit naughty
Me: Would you like some meat Scout? Scout: No, I'm like totally cool without
Scout: Ralph, let's play a game. You are my baby Ralph: No! Scout: Alright, not a baby. You can be a toddler Ralph: I am not a toddler. I am a CAR Scout: Well, "toddler" is actually the French word for "car" Ralph: OK then
Scout: Mummy says we have to get dressed, Ralph. It's the LAW
Me: Ralph, that was a bit naughty when you threw that cup at me. Do you think you have calmed down now? Ralph [looking up with a grin]: Well, I'm still a liiiii-tle bit curious of how cross you can be
I'll let Scout have the last word, in this poster I saw hanging up at her daycare last week. Could my heart swell any further?